so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
