margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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