so explain again why im purple
no
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
