ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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