Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
