Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
