Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
