Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
