you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
