yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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