Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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