$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
