I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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