just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
