I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
