id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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