I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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