it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
