Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
