We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
