either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
tell your sister to shave her snatch
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
