i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
