k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
The air taste purple.
Randomize