I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
