guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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