Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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