i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
