Moan for me like Helen Keller
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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