i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
