I accidentally had phone sex last night
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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