We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Randomize
