Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
