He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
