Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
