Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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