She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
