You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
