You're completely useless in the revolution.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
