garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
