He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
