he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize