I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
