He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
