Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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