No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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