We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
