this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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