She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
