walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
this just has baby written all over it
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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