if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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