How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
