Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
