You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Randomize
