don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
its liver damage thursday
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
