I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
