Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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