Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane

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(313): View more from Michigan

I wish I could punch you in the face.

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(323): View more from California

don't go home with that guy from jersey

(626): View more from California

i know, not worth the blood test

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(317): View more from Indiana

cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome

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(716): View more from New York

Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.

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(206): View more from Washington

after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.

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(706): View more from Georgia

It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs

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