I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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