Where is the hickey?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
