I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
