I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
