I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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