Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
