Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
