Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize