So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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